:Cyclostat

I’d like to suggest a good way of determining if you spend too much time posting on the boston fixed forums. Specifically the Fixed Connections discussion page.

One would be if your username appears in the graphic below. Deadbolt, Conor, (E)stratton. You all made the top 3.

How this works:

Basically, Wordle.net allows you to visualize the frequency of a word’s use by the size of it’s font. I just figured out how to use Automator to steal texts from websites, and so after I had cleared out the repeated headings with search and replace, I pasted my result into Wordle. The text log of the discussion page started on December 30th because I was aiming for January 1st, but had to choose the nearest whole page.

For those who spend too much time on the fixed forums (bostonfixed.us), this graphic may come as no surprise.

For those of you whose names are above, I have to say that I am impressed. Especially for deadbolt and conor whose usernames were used/mentioned as many times as the word “man” and “night”, more than “harvard”, but slightly less than “go”.

Kudos.

Click the icon above for the original Wordle.

After doing the original, I went back and got rid of month abbreviations and “saw” and “bike”.

Same pattern, but now we see some other people as well, once the noise is reduced.

More Names revealed!

I also really like how Motherfucker is one of the more common terms. Ah, awesome. I hope everyone enjoys this as much as I do.

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I’ve always waved at people hailing cabs, because I don’t want to get close to them.

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Oh, I love simple studies like this. They’re just enough to get people interested in doing more and by god they’re easy.

I’m talking about an article on Tree Hugger, where some citizens of Sao Paulo, Brazil….

– [I’ll save you the trouble, it’s right here: View Larger Map]] –

….had 18 different people race, using different types of transport. This being a bike blog, I’m sure you figured out that it was two mighty cyclists who ended up winning the race.

You’ll notice that the last symbol is a helicopter. Yes, the cyclists beat a fucking helicopter. Cyclists are now the greatest form of urban transport on the earth.

….if only we had a bike lobby in congress….

The important thing to remember is that it was the experienced cyclists who got the 25 minute and 22 minute scores, other cyclists took their sweet time. One of those was a fixed gear rider, and the other had full gears. To me, it’s just impressive that they beat a fucking helicopter.

Does anyone think that it is feasible to recreate this in Boston? We could get some serious publicity from a simple, n=21 experiment with car vs. bike vs. T.

The Tree Hugger Article:
http://www.treehugger.com/files/2009/09/amazing-bike-faster-than-helicopters-running-faster-than-car-in-sao-paulo.php

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Once again, before I start my post, I’d like any readers (who have not already done so) to take my survey. Once I get enough responses, I’ll post the results on this blog.

Cycling in Boston: The Survey

My post continues below:

Assclowns come in many shapes.

Figure1: Monique Doyle Spencer and some dude.

I was reading Grimlocke’s blog, and she used the term assclown to describe a driver in Brookline, who almost killed her and in return was hit by her bagel. This term was also used in a recent wired article to describe the anonymous protests of scientology. The article described Project Chanology, as sort of a… mixed bag of nuts. Sure, they’re anal expulsive teenagers and single programmers in their mid-thirties, and if they had discrete goals, they mostly weren’t accomplished, but they fucked some shit up. That’s what I like about Anonymous – they can really cause a ruckus.

Figure 2: Powerful, Powerful nerds with too much time.

I’m not sure how many bagels they threw, but it was the same basic idea. Anonymous wasn’t organized, it wasn’t well thought out, rather it was a whole bunch of people doing little, annoying things.

I’d like to employ a similar method for cycling vengeance. Before the whole bakers dozen of my readers get upset, I realize we don’t really have the numbers, free time, or will power for this. This is basically fantasy.

But how cool would it be if we could just U-lock a ghost bike next to  Monique Doyle Spencer ‘s house? I’m sure that other than her advocacy of cyclist abuse, she’s a nice lady, so I wouldn’t suggest anything extreme, but a few little pranks could be appropriate.

Why don’t we try and find people who drive like maniacs and just let the air out of their tires?

Figure 3: Wheel Wedge Vengeance

I also have an ongoing fantasy of catching up to a driver and slipping a wheel wedge under his wheel, effectively immobilizing him.

Effectively, fantasies like these are a moral gambit. Much like the Queen’s gambit in chess, we’ve been challenged by Drivers, who constantly harass, buzz, beep (Thanks Monique), and yell at us – also they hurt, maim and kill us. I know that we’re already better than them – every cyclist is one car’s worth of less traffic, we use less energy getting around, and (if we’re fast enough) we might just live longer. If we accept the moral gambit, neither one of us end up with queens (read: moral high ground), and I’m not sure if that would leave us with any Public Relations advantage. Probably not. In all likeliness it would mean that everyone involved would look like an assclown, not just shitty drivers and otherwise sweet, elderly writers.

But then again, it could be fun.

Thoughts? Opinions?

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This is my reply to BostonBiker’s post about the Ted Bomb. Where the author was riding legally,  got honked at and somehow defused a car bomb, so to speak.

I’m going to deviate from the original lesson (You can humanize yourself too) and contribute to the discussion is a more nihilistic way. I’m sorry, but that’s just where I am. I wish I could say that I’m happy about the way things are, and that I could take this event as indicative of a changing climate, but I don’t. Perhaps BB’s post speaks more to the author’s verbal skills, and ability to form personal connections.

It’s mostly because of a poster named Ryan:

“Nicely handled. I can relate to both sides (biker vs. cage driver) and I can say that I am always conscious of bikers and try to give them as much room as possible HOWEVER a large number (I could say majority) of bicyclists that I see on the road ride like assholes. Acting like a car when it suits them best (riding in the middle of the lane @ 10 mph) but as soon as “car rules” become an inconvenience, they revert back to “pedestrian” and run red lets, cut through the middle of the line of stopped cars, go up on sidewalks, blow through crosswalks, etc. As much as I can relate and understand the danger that biclyclists encounter on a day to day basis, THE BIKERS are the ones that need to be more conscientous of the dangers and ride accordingly (defensively). Had the author dropped his bike in the middle of the road and come over to my window with his U-Lock in his hand (making me feel threatened), this story would have had a very different ending, and it would not have been a good one for the biker.”

Ryan is not a biker, he rides a scooter, or some other silly version of a non-car, as he clarifies later. Here is my response to his comment:

Ryan, I’m just going to say it. I’m a cyclist and I break the rules on the road because cyclists live in a transportation anarchy. Cyclists get in trouble for both following the rules and breaking them, it’s just that the former is on the road and the latter is mostly text-based. Personally, I prefer anonymous, internet based fist shaking to Ted situations.

And it seems that most accidents are the drivers fault anyway:
http://freakonomics.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/08/28/who-causes-cyclists-deaths/?scp=1&sq=cyclist%20deaths&st=cse

The Ted situation is sort of the “damned if you do” situation: had the author weaved through traffic, and ran a few red lights, Ted would have been miles behind (Or so I would assume, please let me know if this is correct). I’m not saying it’s right, but personally I don’t care, so I’d say the author is a better person than I am.

Anyways. I’d rather be illegal, fast, and alive than live legally and take my chances on the latter two.

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Before I get started, I’d like to request my kind readers to fill out my short survey about cycling in Boston. I’ll post the results in a few weeks when I have a nice large n.

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=DYAZFjVfa1zEk7DX646mFg_3d_3d

On the awesomer side, in my apartment Wednesday is New Yorker day, and take a guess what I find is Going about Town:

If you are listening to your Mac read this aloud (yeah, it’s possible), you may have missed the photo, which is of some sweaty dudes playing bike polo. One is on an IRO and has an ironically painted disk wheel and another has goofy side burns, possibly a pony tail and a sleeveless shirt.

I like how the New Yorker is up on trends somewhere in between their informal brewing and full blown cultural ubiquitousness. But seriously, for a main stream magazine, with what I assume is a dearth of staffers under 30, I am impressed that they picked up on this. I read the magazine for a measured analysis of political events, their character pieces, and humor, but I’m always pleasantly surprised when they have a musical review of Bon Hiver, or the Dirty Projectors.

I assume that many people are going to take this as proof that cycling is dead, or something like that, but I’m pretty psyched to see these guys going at it. If anything is worthy of Going about Town, it is something like Bike Polo. It’d be pretty cool to see this become more organized, but then again I don’t play and have no interest in watching, so I say this is the most casual way possible.

I don’t understand why bikes have to be underground in order to be fun or cool, and that this extends to everything that we participate in. Haute Culture eventually trickles down (like Cars, or Cubism), the culture of the people eventually becomes appreciated by everyone (see, rap and lobster) and micro-cultures eventually go main stream (like W.O. Warcraft (see: D&D for original version)) or go nearly extinct (like beatnicks, or roller skating).

It’ll happen to everything, eventually the original audience dies, or some other audience takes their place.

It’s the cycle of culture.

In any case. Go team Bike Polo!

-cyclostat

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Much like stoners, Boston has a lot of grand ideas floating around. And much like that group of friends from high school, Boston has the tendency to start a project, and then spend an inordinate amount of time explaining why it didn’t happen.

Meanwhile, Boston, your fucking room is a mess. Just get off your ass and finish what you started.

In the mean time, the Boston Globe is getting some opinions on what to do with the physical reminders of unfinished projects. One of the ideas is a Bike Park with the Movie screen in the forgotten Filene’s building in Downtown Crossing. If there is one thing I love, it is biking and movies.

http://www.boston.com/business/gallery/holerenderings/

Just check it out and vote for your favorite.

Boston, 1993: Alright guys, I’ve got this idea. For the green line. [pause] To go to fucking Medford.

Bostonians 1993: Awesome! Less people on the road, economic development for the stops along the way, convenient access to the city, and doable. Very doable. When is this happening?

Boston, 1993: Right after we make this tunnel to the airport. Should be done in ’98.

Bostonians 1993: Fantastic!

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This is a reply to/ commiseration with pedalstrike‘s recent post.

It might just be Schwinn owners, but I’ve been seeing the handle-bar lock up pretty much everywhere. Yeah, I realize that a thief might have to cut a brake cable, or something but honestly I can’t imagine what the owner of this bike must be like. They took the time to get out their giant U-lock, fumbling with it for a few seconds, while balancing their bike, all for this highly thievable state.

This is probably why comfort bikes and “mountain” bikes get stolen more often.

Oh, and Pedals, for the 100 points: Will Ferrell from Zoolander. C’mon, that was easy.

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Kind Readers,

I’ve been looking and looking for statistics on biking, and to be honest I’m having a hard time. So, instead of poaching hard earned numbers, I’ve decided to harvest my own data for a change.

Click Here to take survey

So, I would appreciate your input for my humble 10 question survey.

Mostly, I am curious about what types of people visit what types of bike shops. Yes I am aware that there is a bias in the subject pool (you guys), so maybe I’ll just post this fucker on craigslist. Who knows.

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