:Cyclostat

Once, Robert Plant said that sometimes words have no meaning, and in reviewing the inventory for the Somerville Bike auction, right now I am convinced that Plant and his giant cock were right.

Figure 1: A sample from the Somerville Bike Auction inventory.

VIA

Sure, I appreciate the idea of posting the bike inventory online, but the amount of information here pretty much amounts to “Yeah, we got some bikes.”

Before reading the inventory, I knew that there would be some shitty bikes, and maybe some OK ones that I could fix up. After reading the inventory, I was basically in the same place, which makes the net information transmitted equal to zero.

Specific Criticisms:

1) Why would you list the speed. No one cares, and no one is going to buy a 21 speed over a 12 speed. I’m assuming that most of these bike are going to need new back wheels.

2) Really, what matters is the original quality of the frame and parts – information that is not provided. If the Bianchi listed is a forgotten Dolomiti, then it would be worth getting out of bed early. If it is one of those terrible comfort bikes, then I might sleep in a few more hours.

3) Which brings me to make – what they have listed here is the Brand. Fuji is a brand that made dozens of models. Some are amazing and some are pieces of crap. Saying Fuji is like saying you have a General Motors car – it would be helpful if the model was listed.

4) I don’t care about the color. Basically everything here is going to look terrible, until I fix it up in some way. Bikes can be painted – and these bikes probably should.

5) Style – Boy or Girl? Just say Mixte frame, or Step-Through frame. I don’t really know any girls that ride a girl bike. Who wrote this? What is a racer frame? Could this be a pursuit? Or is it the only road bike in a shit storm of comfort/hybrids?

I guess we’ll have to find out.

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