Assclowns and Moral Superiority
Once again, before I start my post, I’d like any readers (who have not already done so) to take my survey. Once I get enough responses, I’ll post the results on this blog.
My post continues below:
Assclowns come in many shapes.
Figure1: Monique Doyle Spencer and some dude.
I was reading Grimlocke’s blog, and she used the term assclown to describe a driver in Brookline, who almost killed her and in return was hit by her bagel. This term was also used in a recent wired article to describe the anonymous protests of scientology. The article described Project Chanology, as sort of a… mixed bag of nuts. Sure, they’re anal expulsive teenagers and single programmers in their mid-thirties, and if they had discrete goals, they mostly weren’t accomplished, but they fucked some shit up. That’s what I like about Anonymous – they can really cause a ruckus.
Figure 2: Powerful, Powerful nerds with too much time.
I’m not sure how many bagels they threw, but it was the same basic idea. Anonymous wasn’t organized, it wasn’t well thought out, rather it was a whole bunch of people doing little, annoying things.
I’d like to employ a similar method for cycling vengeance. Before the whole bakers dozen of my readers get upset, I realize we don’t really have the numbers, free time, or will power for this. This is basically fantasy.
But how cool would it be if we could just U-lock a ghost bike next to Monique Doyle Spencer ‘s house? I’m sure that other than her advocacy of cyclist abuse, she’s a nice lady, so I wouldn’t suggest anything extreme, but a few little pranks could be appropriate.
Why don’t we try and find people who drive like maniacs and just let the air out of their tires?
Figure 3: Wheel Wedge Vengeance
I also have an ongoing fantasy of catching up to a driver and slipping a wheel wedge under his wheel, effectively immobilizing him.
Effectively, fantasies like these are a moral gambit. Much like the Queen’s gambit in chess, we’ve been challenged by Drivers, who constantly harass, buzz, beep (Thanks Monique), and yell at us – also they hurt, maim and kill us. I know that we’re already better than them – every cyclist is one car’s worth of less traffic, we use less energy getting around, and (if we’re fast enough) we might just live longer. If we accept the moral gambit, neither one of us end up with queens (read: moral high ground), and I’m not sure if that would leave us with any Public Relations advantage. Probably not. In all likeliness it would mean that everyone involved would look like an assclown, not just shitty drivers and otherwise sweet, elderly writers.
But then again, it could be fun.
Thoughts? Opinions?
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